Aaron, Will, Olivia, Kate & Holly
I have been following this story about Kate for a long time. Below is Wednesday evenings journal entry regarding life at the McRae home. I am asking you to pray for the McRae family. The journal entry is heart-gripping and life changing. (to me) As a parent I am learning from this family about life, love, trust, patience, and prayer! They are trusting God in the deepest of valleys.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Thank you for your prayers. We are struggling today, but I would expect no less given the news we were dealt yesterday.
Kate went to school today, much against my desire to keep her home. She just desperately desires to be “normal” and to live like a kid. So we painstakingly let her go.
It looks like we will have no real news for a few days. Her PET scan is not scheduled until Tuesday of next week. Not sure how we are supposed to sit and wait on that one, but unfortunately we can’t provide the isotopes needed to perform the 2 specific tests they will be running. We have no idea what we will do with ourselves for the next week. A day has almost killed me.
We sat down and talked with Olivia and Will last night. We told them as much as we knew, and yet emphasized that nothing was for certain right now. My heart breaks for them. They each played out their concerns in their own way. Neither desiring for our family to be apart again. No one desiring for Kate to suffer.
So for now we turn the world over looking for something that would be best suited to help our daugther. We know this, there is no obvious answer. There is nothing that is breakthrough right now helping kids with recurrances of this disease, not when she has had the most promising of treatments already. Kate’s Dr’s and we ourselves, will be contacting the best minds in the country, getting their opinions.
I did hear from Dr Etzl today. Tumor board met, and the obvious thought is that it is cancer. As of now, they don’t believe surgery to be a great option, and radiation does not seem to be an option either. Which leaves us thinking if it does prove to be cancer, it will most likely be something very experimental we will have to attempt.
We have cried, and cried and cried some more. We try and hold it together around the kids, but oftentimes the tears just keep coming. We had to talk with Kate again tonight. She doesn’t want to loose her hair again and go to school without hair. Obviously this is the least of our concerns. But we talked about hair, wigs, and treatments that you don’t lose your hair with. We both seemed to settle down, that is until we started talking about heaven.
I wept as we talked about heaven and she softly said, “mom, I don’t want to go without you, I would miss you way too much.” “And I don’t want you to go without me either baby.” And then the question again that pierces our hearts daily, “Why hasn’t Jesus used his power yet? He’s so much stronger than cancer, why?” So again we talked, and cried some more. We ended the conversation with her whispering in my ear, “I will love you no matter what.” I had to go to my room to cry alone.
So we ask you to intercede. We know Jesus can heal our daughter. And we will not stop asking for that healing for Kate. Please join us. We are still praying that the spots will disappear for the PET scan. We are still begging for a lifetime with our sweet daughter.
Not sure words can bring comfort, not sure I knew what to say. As I knelt down to my knees at my office desk, these lyrics from Michael W. Smith came to mind and the scripture below. Nothing brings comfort better than God’s Word! And so this was my response to their journal entry.
Let it rain, let it rain. Open the floodgates of Heaven
The Lord reigns, let the earth be glad
Let the distance shores rejoice
Clouds and thick darkness surround him
Righteousness and justice are the foundation of his throne
A fire goes before him and consumes his foes on every side
His lightning lights up the world
The earth sees and trembles
The mountains melt like wax before the Lord
Before the Lord of all the earth
The Heavens proclaim His righteousness
And all peoples will see His Glory